MAD.

I realized that i have a very brutal outlook on life. Maybe it stems from the years of injuries inflicted by life. I still can feel some of these arrows sticking out of my back.

There was a period where i was very hostile to people, during my BMT days last year. Why? I can't really settle down for an answer, guess i'm unable to cross the line of being a soldier on a weekday, and a civilian on the weekends. I've got friends who complaint that it was irritating of me to keep talking about army out in the civilian world, and that i had to get a life on a weekend as a civilian, not a soldier. But unknown to them, it's a struggle for me to find that distinction.

I really find it hard to relate to people. I guess that's the problem.

Things are not made better when all your friends are moving on, faces change, attitudes change. The struggles that i struggle with are so different with what they go thru. And somehow as the services go by, i began to realise that all they said to me were just simple "HI's" and "BYE's". Stopping to listen to me blasting with full military jargons would be a nightmare even for the most ardent listener. I felt really left out back then. And i thank God for those few who saw me thru, especially Anthony. Guess he was truly my anchor back then, when i was suffering, i knew he understood it, coz we went into army at the same time. I knew what i suffered, i knew what he suffered. Perhaps that created a bond that no normal person can understand - A silent code of honour...

...that you will not leave your brother behind, no matter how hard his heart is.

And during the June Accelerate Camp, i approached him and thanked him for all the encouragement. He was the ONLY reason that i stayed in the ministry. He was the only one whose "Hey are you okie?" had meaning, sounded genuine, and made it's impact in my life. Even now, i feel kinda strange if he doesn't appear for service due to his duties.

Now, those few months were such an desert experience. I felt like i was fighting the demons alone. It was then when my past came back to haunt me - the words that people said to me which had left a mark upon my heart. A poisonous concoction of rage, bitterness, anger, fear began to launch it's artillery barrage upon my soul. I was tormented and tortured, and it nearly drove me crazy.

The only and very thing that sustained me was the Word Of God.

Psalm 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

And during the Retreat back in 2004, i confessed to a peer, a good friend of many years that "i miss the good old days". Yeah i do, but life gotta go on. I can't turn back time, time moves on.

And now after a few months of fighting and struggling, i'm glad that i've found people whom i can share my life with. There's something different about the current cell that i'm in now. It's not your typical week after week "how's ur life?" "Got do quiet time?" "Share something about ur life this week. Erm everything's okie" cell group meetings. It has become something very real. Our sharings are brutally honest, as we share in a very real and personal way that can drive many to tears. No pretentence, no superficiality, no obligations. Where broken lives can come and find refuge and shelter from a cruel and unforgiving world.

To the guys of M.A.D. - We stand alone together. Currrahee!

Books.

"It makes no difference what men think of war... War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before men was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting the ultimate practitioner" - Cormac McCarthy

Been reading a few books lately.

Blood Rites: Origins and History of The Passions of War by Barbara Ehrenreich

and....

An Intimate History of Killing by Joanna Bourke.

Now what makes these two books interesting is the fact that both writers are female. No, i'm not being chavuanistic, but females talking about war? I guess things are different now. And no, i'm not been psychotic here, just interested in their writings and how they explain the very nature that drives human beings to war. Very interesting read, especially for those interested in social and political sciences and the understanding of the violent side of human psychology.

History is written in blood, civilizations established in the blood of their foes - only the dead has seen the end of war. Ever since Cain looked enviously at Abel, humans have been killing fellow humans. Yes, animals do that too, but not at such a ferocity and on such a catastrophic scale as we humans.

This speaks so much of our fallen nature.

Tata, shall con't my reading before i doze off.

Christianity?

The last few decades of liberal philosophy have convinced us, even Christians, that truth is something we may interpret or fashion according to our own observations. The effects of this sweeping, post-modern epidemic may have actually infected our modern inferences of scripture. When it comes to comprehending who Jesus is physically and metaphysically, we must openly embrace the notion that truth is something that God himself fashioned and instituted. Secondly, it is He alone who sustains the fabric of the absolute. This throws us upon the mercy of His understanding and shows us the beauty of never being able to grasp the complexities of His character. We are prompted to acknowledge the magnificent radiance and beauty of His truth.

Objectives and Walking.

I went shopping today with Daniel.

What's so great about that?

The fact is, i HARDLY do any shopping. It's usually the case of me tagging unwillingly along with olders, and i cannot deny that it's pure torture to follow people who can't make up their minds in buying what they need.

Usually guys don't really have this sort of problem. We hit and run. We know what we want,we go to the shop, we find what we want, pay, and scoot off. Well okie, to be fair, sometimes guys do take time to choose what they really want. No fault for that, coz it doesn't really take long.

But for girls, now thats a different story.

No. i'm not trying to put down the opposite gender, just that i don't really like tagging along with them to do their window shopping.

"Window shopping? What happened to their windows? Broke?"

I guess it's something i acquired in the army. Everything now must be objective. Even if we wanna relax, there must be an objective. It so second nature to me that sometimes it makes me feel like a party spoiler, or some Mr. Scrooge clone. Idon't like the idea of simply walking around without any objective.

Now, the irony is, i do that all the time with Shaun.

Yes. I realised that the only non-objective thing that i tend to do is to walk aimlessly around. I remember the time when i met Shaun for lunch at Funan, we decided to walk to Plaza Sing, then to Bras Basah, and then to Beach Road. I guess it's in our blood to walk alot. Sometimes i prefer to walk home instead of taking the public transport. I walk home from church all the time, yes, all the time, except when i have companions with me who stays very near. (Though i try to pyscho them to walk back...). The furthest route i'd ever walked (other than my 24km route march) was from Bedok all the way back home. Appx 17km.

Walking does have it's perks. It's a good form of cardiovascular excercise. It's an effective fat buring excercise. And it gives you alot of time to think about things like love and life etc. Not to forget, it provides you with the best time to commune with a Higher Power. I talk to God all the time, especially when i'm enjoying a walk. It's such simple (and cost effective) stuff that brings pleasure to me. Who said enjoyable things must be expenisve? Or perhaps i was raised in an era by good parents to understand that true joy and fun don't necessary need cash. I enjoyed my family outings to the beach when i was a kid. I enjoyed the hikes that i used to go with my friends. Hanging out at a friend's place overnight with some instant noodles is a sure crowd pleaser among my cell, all you need perhaps is just one guitar, and we;ll sing the night thru.

Oh well. Just some "unobjective" irrational post beofre i venture to dream land.

I realised that other than walking aimlessly, i also like to post aimlessly.

Hmmmmmm.

Dreams

I dreamt of something that i should not have dreamt. No it's nothing explicit or shameful, it as a nice dream, just that i shouldn't have dreamt it. Well nothing you should know more about...

Sigh it tortures me from time to time. How the mind seeks to forget, yet in the dark of the night it comes back.

As i played my Josh Groban Album when i woke up, the first song that i selected happened to be this song. Enjoy.

I'll Miss You (Mi Mancherai)

I’ll miss you, if you go away
I’ll miss your serenity
Your words like songs in the wind
And Love, that you take away.

I’ll miss you, if you go away
Now and forever I don’know how to live
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss the immensity
Of our days and nights,us together
Your smiles when it’s getting dark
Your being naive like a little girl

I’ll miss you, my love
I look at myself and I find emptiness inside of me
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

By Josh Groban (Sung in Italian)

I know the stones will start flying after reading this. But do i care? I'm human too. And it's just one of those days where i want to simply be human. I can become someone else another day.

Siege Mentality

Ever heard of this country up north from the Republic of Korea? Beyond the 38th Parallel? According to world stats, this country is the most isolated and one of the few surviving bastion of Communism. And with their recent rhetorics and threats of a nuclear showdown, it more or less generates certain interest, especially to me, a lover of all things military and politics. To them, the world was one that has beeen influenced by the Imperialist West, especially America, and that their glorious nation is under siege from a world bent on destroyin them, on pillaging their proud Korean culture and making it one of decadence and immorality. It is what i coin as "the Siege Mentality".

And i feel sometimes i'm guilty of it.

I realized that i'm a very impatient man. A recent personality test i took rendered me a high D (Dominant) for my character trait. This type of person with a high D are usually known as "the Tyrant" - bossy, autocratic, demanding etc you get the idea. And i realized that if i didn't really control myself; subduing the evil in me, i would pretty much behave like a tyrant. And sometimes i feel that i'm living my life as though someone had pissed me off, even though it's not true. I guess it's an effect from having the fear and flaws catching up with you in the cold of the night. The sudden realisation that you're not who you thought you are; the thought that you far from what people think you are can have a devastating effect on your morale to carry on. I guess that's where grace comes into play.

It's a great comfort to know that God's grace is new every morning.

A tyrant, a dictator, lack of empathy, lack of patience. The inner me has somewhat mutated, and i have been fighting these inner demons for a very long time.

Only a few can see and understand this great war that rages in me.

And i've become so often a casualty of war.

And so this brings me back to my "Siege Mentality" At it's worst, i become someone rather hostile and unforgiving. At it's best? This i do not know. I realise i treasure solitude more nowadays, a solitude that borders on the anti-social. I prefer to be alone more often, even in camp, and being someone with a rather loud tone, it's ironic that i would prefer silence, and would not hesitate to show my disdain for excessive noises.

Well, looking from another point of view, i realise that it's not me being the anti - social. But rather i had enough of trying to conform to the likings of others. Instead of following the crowd and pretend to enjoy what they enjoy, i've chosen to be more confrontational when i feel that i'm not going to be very happy doing something that everyone enjoys doing. And i wonder why my preferences are so different from the normal average young man. Why do i enjoy doing things that hardly anyone enjoys doing? Personality differences? It's sad, the number of times i tried to assimilate into the cliques and groups of friends,but usually ending up as the out cast. I have enough bad experience, and all i can say is that these experiences have hardened me to the point that i feel numb, that it didn't really matter anymore.

I don't know, maybe i had a screwed up life for far too long. It's being a long time since i was excited about something, it's been a long time since i truly laughed with all my heart, it's been a long time since i understood and experienced joy.

Oh well, i guess it's up to the Big Guy to decide what He needs to do with me....

Psalm 51

Have mercy upon me, O God,
according to thy lovingkindness:
according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies
blot out my transgressions.

Wash me throughly from mine iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions:
and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned,
and done this evil in thy sight:
that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest,
and be clear when thou judgest.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity;
and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean:
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me to hear joy and gladness;
hat the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my sins,
and blot out all mine iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence;
and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Then will I teach transgressors thy ways;
and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness,
O God, thou God of my salvation:
and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

O Lord, open thou my lips;
and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

For thou desirest not sacrifice;
else would I give it:
thou delightest not in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart,
O God, thou wilt not despise.

Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion:
build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
with burnt offering and whole burnt offering:
then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

God, this is the cry of my heart.

One of those posts again.

Yep, it's one of those posts again - seemingly irrelevant and directionless posts typed out of a deep profound sense of "quality boredom", a new term i coined in camp to describe the relaxing effects of just slacking around and thinking about the finer things of life.

Had a wonderful church service today, and i didn't realise it till i was in church, that today was Christmas eve?! (What?!) But it did felt different this year. I wouldn't know whether it's a good thing or bad thing, but somehow the supposed atmosphere of such "joyous" occasion somehow eludes me strangely. Hmmmm, as i was part of the choir/back up team, and during the preparation i felt this strange old familiar feeling - i felt kinda, alone?

I don't really know how to describe to you this feeling, it's a feeling that you don't really have anyone to talk to for a very long time. Yes, i do talk to people, but it's really been sometime since i had a heart to heart talk with anyone. I use to have good friends, friends that would provide me with a very good listen ear. And strangely most of these people were of the different gender..... No, it's not that i'm a flirt, what wrong with having a few good female friends? And there was 2 of them whom i really enjoyed talking to. Strane, i wonder why females, perhaps they're more sensitive? Perhaps it's a generally accepted fact that they're better listeners than guys? Yes, i enjoy talking to the guys in my cell, but in certain cases, i felt more comfortable in sharing to these 2, whom i have built a close rapport over the months before i entered the armed service.

Yes, i do miss the companionship of these 2 friends, the times when we hanged out for no particular reason but to have fun. Now, after almost a year in army, i have lost contact, or rather to put it in better terms, connection. This separation was more of a choice than of circumstances, even though it did play a big part in my decision.

The army has "neutralized" me. I have found things i could never possibly find in a civilian life. And i'm not ashamed to admit it - entering the armed forces was one of the best times of my life. Now.... someone said the same thing, that his time in the trenches were the best time of his life. Guess who said that? =) Adolf Hitler. Someone once asked me, "how could you ever find meaning serving in the army?" Well, i couldn't really give him an intelligent answer; i was never intelligent in the first place. I just told him what i truly believed in - who else will bear arms if not us? I may sound overtly garang, or even be labelled as an unrealistic romantic idealist. But i never doubted my purpose in the army; to defend that which i hold dear to.

I know you're laughing at me while you're reading this.

I remember the first few days in the army, way back in alittle island off the coast of Singapore known sarcastically as Tekong Resort, i pondered about the meaning of national service, thinking about why do i serve? Why do i need to bear arms other than the fact that it was compulsory for all Singaporean males to bear arms? And somehow it struck me at my rifle presentation, that i was doing this not because of my country, even though i have sworn allegience to it. No, my allegience laid in my family, my friends, those whom i hold dear to, those whom i cherish. As i pondered about the significance, i realised that you will defend that which is dearest to you. Being a history student, and a ardent student of war, i understood the meaning of being conquered, of being a subjugated people under the harsh rule of a foreign power. It happened in the Japanese occupation, as i fondly remembered the stories my dad used to tell me of his childhood; of how he and my grand parents would hide in the drains as Japanese bombers flew over Singapore and unloaded their deadly cargo upon helpless civilian. I recalled the accounts of murder, of the infamous "sookching" operation where thousands of young chinese were rounded up and brought to the beaches sorrounding Singapore to be gunned down in cold blood. My mom told me of how her uncle got brought away in one such operation, never to be seen again. There were tales of mass rapes, of how terrible and brutal life was under the rule of a foreign power unrelated in anyway by race or blood.

As i stood there facing the famous landmark Changi Airport Control Tower waiting to receive my M16, the emblem of my service to my nation, the cold wind that blew on my face seemed to pull me back to the times of the Jewish uprising in AD70, where 300 Jewish zealot rebels held up in the fotress of Masada killed themselves rather than be captured alive by the Romans. And how officers in the now modern day Israeli Defence Force would be comissioned upon the same rocks of Masada, declaring the oath "Never Again shall our people suffer such a fate".

And i uttered, "Never again."

Never again shall we be ruled by a foreign power. Never again shall my family undergo thru the painful ordeal of losing a loved one. Never again shall we stand by and watch. I was eager to prove that my love for all things military was not just a empty rhetoric. And to be honest, i was ready, as the oath declares, to defend what i hold dear "with our lives" if need be. Now as i enter my 1 year of service in the army, and newly promoted to 3SG, i remember meeting people who treated training as a waste of time, especially in the Medical Corp. Many people constantly believe that Singapore would never go to war - that was what my grandma said just months before the Japanese came. So, my point? You'll never know. From what proof can you tell me that peace is going to last? Who can be so sure that diplomacy and diplomacy alone can gurantee our survival. Ladies and gentlemen i'm sad to say that many of us have taken our peace for granted. In the recent unveiling of the terrorist organization JI, our nation recieved a rude wake up call to the fact that there are enemies among us that seeks to destroy our way of life, to kill and destroy lives in the name of fasle religion. We must understand that the only way to ensure peace is thru the barrel of the gun; to strike first those who intent to strike us. As a Christian i'm sad to say this - force is necessary. It's a ugly affair, but force is necessary.

That's why the army exist.

And being in a operational unit, i take my training seriously. I understood the fact that the enemies i faced are real, not so simulated enemy from Country X. And in the process i have offended certain people who are more inclined to "resting". I'm not saying that resting is wrong, or that we can't slack.

But there's a time for everything.

Imagine when we're activated, and suddenly you reaslised that in the midst of all the casualties, to your upmost horror, you see your father/mother/girlfriend there struggling from a life threatening injury and is about to die unless you do something. You take out your equipment to try to save them, but you realised that you have absoultely no idea how to use it. How would you feel? You've been escaping all the training, and when the real thing comes, you crap in your pants upon the realisation that you could not do what is expected of you to do, because you don't know how.

I know this post will offend many people; i may even be labelled as a hypocrite. But judge me after you have seen what i have achieved in the army, not for me to boast about, but rather to show that i practiced what i preached. By the grace of God i was nominated Company Best, and as i entered MRF i became a Team Leader. And do you believe i achieved all these because i was smart? No! I count myself as one of the slower and dumber learners ever since secondary school, but i was willing to work hard for what i believed in. Being hardworking was my way of honouring He who had placed me in these situations.

Call me whatever name you want, label me in whatever way you want. It doesn't change the fact that i know what my purpose is in where i am now. It doesn't change the fact that God honours those who labour hard in whatever fields they're in. On the contrary i'm pretty frightened that our generation has become soft, as what i normally would say in camp "a bunch of girl guides" (my apologies to all the girl guides reading this. =P), unable to deal with difficult situations, complaining even at the smallest inconvenience. It's true, i should be helping others to change,especially in army. But please for goodness sake remember this, how can i help a person when he himself doesn't want to change? When he himself thinks that i'm such garang lunatic?

And if that fateful day should come, when those who criticise me because of what i believe in lie in a pool of blood crying out for their mothers, i will say to them,

"You should be grateful that i know what to do."

Okie. Enough for today.

Out-Field Mania

Well, okie, it's been quite some time since i posted something here due to my long and tiring schedule. I had an enjoyable if tired week last week. There was my topo (topography-map reading and compass use.) lesson, followed by Excercise Greensleeves and Tenderfoot, where we walked the entire stretch of Lim Chu Kang Cemetery and the Lower Mandai Area. The topo missions were quite interesting in fact, though i experienced one interesting and nerve-recking experience with my cource commander 2WO Anuar... So here it goes:

At the middle of the intersection of Lim Chu Kang Cemetery:

(Bravo 03 was walking around in circles, trying to locate the last check point)

Dom: Eh I need to take a rest, this signal set is killing me.

(Dom was carrying the 4.8kg PRC840 Shortwave Signal Set, plus his close to 8kg RAPTOR Bag, which added up to about 12Kg at least... Tsk tsk unlucky dude)

Team IC: Okie, you guys take a break here, while i and CPL X go ahead to take a look at the other junction.

Everyone: Roger.

(Everyone begin to take off their crumblesome fieldpacks and RAPTORs, took off their jungle caps and begin to fan themselves. The only foreign attache from Country Y went under the cover of the trees to rest all by himself.)

Dom: Hey... I see a rover right infront....

(The rover drove up to the Team IC and CPL X and stopped. Everyone stared at them and the rover and begin to scratch their head in curiosity. After some time the rover begin to approach Dom and his team)

2WO Anuar: WHAT IS THIS?! WHY ARE YOU GUYS RESTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! WHY IS OUR COUNTRY Y FRIEND SITTING ALONE BY THE SIDE?! AND ARE YOU TOGETHER WITH THE TWO GUYS INFRONT?!

Dom: Erm eh... no... erm... yes....

2WO Anuar: NO OR YES?! YES OR NO?!

Dom: Yes Sir! We belong to the same team!

2WO Anuar: WHO SAID YOU GUYS COULD SPLIT UP?! YOU PEOPLE CAN TELL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND MOTHERS TO CANCEL ANY PLANS THIS WEEKEND WITH YOU ALL! YOU PEOPLE ARE CONFINED THIS SAT AND SUN!

(2WO drives off. Curses and swear words bein to fill the air.)

Dom: Sigh, i don't have any plans with any girlfriend, coz i don't have one.

(Haha... very funny....)

And so marks the most interesting event of the topo excercises. Though i was thankful that 2WO Anuar relented the confinement, seeing that it was our first time making such a mistake, and that he could draw a lesson for us all in Spec 2 about the importance of maintaining group unity. (plus the fact that he got many garang soldiers in Bravo 2 - where do have the heart to confine such fine men? =P) So i was let off, and it was such a relief...

Ex Greensleeves held at Lower mandai was an eye-opening experience for me and the MRF guys who are usually confined to doing urban extrication and casualty evacuation in built-up areas (CEBUA). We basically tracked thru what i would describe as a hybrid of a jungle and a forest - full of trees in one area, swampy and muddy in the next, trying to find checkpoint cards that were the size of perhaps a bookmark? It wasn't easy, bashing thru all the trees and vines, trying to stay clear of thorns that constantly hooked unto my number 4. I cut my palm in the process, with a splinter that i suspect is still inside now even as i'm typing this. The challenge of the excercise was the many rivers, swamps and hill areas that we had to overcome. Especially challenging was the last stream obstacle. It was quite wide, and the only bridging factor was this log in the middle. Crossing the log made me feel like altho i was in survivor. Ha, but the nightmare came when i lept across, thinking that the ground opposite was safe; i was wrong. As i landed, my leg took a plunge into the mud, and i was stuck, knee deep. Been already quite "big-size", plus a backpack of at least 12Kg, it wasn't easy pulling me out. Haha. And the rest of the journey was completed in a pair of wet and soggy socks and boots. =(

Then of coz came the legendary field camp.

Fieldcamp was held at Lentor, somewhere sandwiched between Yio Chu Kang and Yishun. It was a lost world in the middle of a city. On the way there, i remember the good old Echo BMTC days back in Tekong, how i often looked forward to such field camps (Okie, i'm a little pyscho, i enjoyed my fieldcamps and SIT-Test.) It brought back sweet memories, memories of my precious Echo comrades, whom one had already passed away. The memories of Section 3, of Rahimi, Seow Chew, Yusman etc. The memories of juz lazing around after last parade in the field and cooking maggi in the field. Hoping that it will turn out to be a similar experience as before, i wasn't disappointed. =)

Now, i was part of Section 5, which Sulaiman and me refered to as StrikeForce 2 (due to the reason that we had a regular 1SG Commando with us in the group. StrikeForce 1 had a Commando Warrant Officer. =P) i eager to crush any enemy opposition in the upcoming summary excercise, and to show that my rhetorics of combat weren't limited to words alone.
Upon arrival, we had our mission briefing by none other than 2WO Anuar, and he gave us the situation - Singapore and X Country up north are currently having certain political tension, and x Country has threatened to cut off our water supply (sounds suspiciously familiar eh?). Singapore remain defiant, and X Country responded by a massive invasion of the northern part of the country, cutting it's way into the mandai woodlands area. Now, as part of the 2nd Singapore Infantry Regiment, our orders were to launch a deliberate attack on known enemy positions up north in the area. And we had to wear NEWater belts around us to show X Country that we don't need their water (heh heh, typical Anuar joke. =P)

At noon, it was H Hour. We had to cover a certain distance to attack the enemy, and it was still alright, moving in staggered formation along a dusty road, kinda reminded you of Vietnam, with our M16s and vietnam era signal sets.

And then, the action begin.

A thunderflash suddenly exploded. Alpha Coy had encountered enemy resistance, and Bravo Coy (my coy) had to immediately provide fire support. We ran all the way up till we reached a T - junction. I happened to be the duty signaller (again?! %*$#(#^%@($^%!!!) Thank goodness Bukhari volunteered to carry my signal set for me. As we touched the T-junction, we encountered enemy fire, and we, well, we fired back. =)

And after a fierce firefight, i recieved orders from higher command to set up a Casualty Collection Point at the T-junction. And came in the casualties. Sulaiman was rather busy being the company medic, and i was busy too, with tonnes of radio traffic coming in and out. To my horror, my Platoon Sgt was shot, and he was severely injured and had to be evacuated. Now i was without direction. And soon i found my self in service of the other platoon sgt whose signaller got shot dead. It kinda felt like Wind-Talkers, with me blasting into the signal set calling for reinforcement and evacuation of casualties. I admit, i kinda got pissed off by the incompetence that some of the other signallers displayed, i even scolded some over the comms to "speak up like a man". Eventually we declare a withdrawal due to overwhelming casualties. And guess what happened, they left me and Buk behind to hold the line! (What?! 2 man against an entire company?!) What was the platoon sgt thinking? Forgetting the two most important person, his mouth and ears!

The latter part of the fieldcamp required us to set up a perimeter defence against a possible X Country offensive during the night. The funniest thing to happen to me was that my buddy in the defence group was a reservist dude, unlunky enough to be sent for this spec 2 course. It was a cool experience, bascially just talking nonsense with him, enjoying the protection of his mosquito coil while others became blood buffet! =P While i provided the ground sheet where we slept upon. And after much dificult and removing of equipment of us (which was not supposed to be removed), we fell into slumber.

The slumber did not last long. Around 12am, we received warning that we were surrounded by overwhelming X Country forces, and attack was imminent. Instead of getting ready for defence, the reservist guy and i took our time to gear up - sbo, helmet, fieldpack etc. And as the enemy attacked, instead of the standard proning, we sat down, leaned on our fieldpacks, and returned fire. Kinda slack if you tell me. =P And as the Alpha front collapsed, we were ordered to reinforce the fallen front. And we took our time walking there, as we witness how the platoon and coy medics went to work, running around like mad dogs, responding to injured soldiers yelling for the medic. (Sulaiman had his leg blown off, and Frankie was a dead man on arrival.)
As we arrived at the front, the enemy was already attacking, and instead of returning fire, my NS buddy and I took our tim to lay our groundsheet out. (we did it while our platoon sgt was screaming at the top of his voice for us to return fire! heehee)

And i made the comment that is now famous among Bravo - This army fights only on groundsheets. =P

After the whole engagement, it was finally time for some proper rest, and we immediately fell into deep sleep till the morning, when there was suddenly another round of attack. We responded as we should, relaxed, calming, even bordering on the point of the absurd. (this drove our sergeant mad of coz!) But ah, he couldn't touch me, the NS men was on my side, i'd won immunity challenge...

Not to forget day 2, well, it was your usual attack and advance again, just that this time i was injured in a bridge explosion, with a piece of shrapnel in my abdomen. I was now offically out of the game - i was now a casualty. =) And the guys had to evacuate me all the way back to the Battalion Casualty Station, which was about 1 Km away, on stretcher! As they carried me shoulder level, with every step i could hear the melody of swear words fill the air, and most of them with my name included in this vast display of their vulgar vocabulary. I was more or less declared dead upon arrival. Ahhhhhh

So, for so much that happened, it ain't so bad actually, spending a few days out in the field.

And now, i await the passing out ceremony on the 20th of Dec............

"3SG Dominic!"

"Sir!!!"