New Year Pics.

MAD held a New year celebration dinner to sort of warm things alittle before the start of the new year. Who said only girls can cook? And i bet only maybe 15% of the female population can cook.

The 3 Brave Souls plus jachin outside as the camera-man who dared to venture where most people dare not venture - the Kitchen. Here's 3 very eligible bachelors who can cook, clean, iron, and charm their way into the hearts of the ladies. Dial 1900-loansharks for more info.

"Looksss like meatsss back on the menu boysss!"

In view of the crisis of a lack of meat, we decided to cook whatever we could find...

There is literally enough food to feed an entire army. And we finished everything. Yeah. Long live MAD.

Notice the hotplate ; to the left side of the hotplate is all mushroom. It belonged to Gerald Ho who happenened to be on a meat fast that day. Poor thing.


Gerald Ho showing his agony while Clarence looks on as he consumes large amount of meat infront of Gerald.

LTA Jachin inspects the gas chamber to ensure that it in working condition.

Prisoner Shaun undergoing gassing.

Here's some pretty neat pics i got from John's 21st Birthday. Though i must say that it's all taken in the spirit of political madness and fun. Nothing serious was ever intented.

*Disclaimer - No animal was harmed in the process of filming. All proceeds from the film will go to the Help The Spastic Shaun Association.

Not another New Year?!

Well, it's not that i hate new year, i've got off, and no one's complaining. Oh well. It's another time of the year when you collect money and put on weight from all the feasting.

The sad thing about this year was that the first day of new year fell on a sunday, and there wasn't church on sat. So i had to give church a miss and go visitng with my parents. I'm glad to be able to spend quality time with my parents, even though i was alittle sad that i had to miss church, especially knowing the fact that they were showing the story of Anne Frank on Christian Education. Heard that there were portions of the Fuhrer shown. =P

Anyway this year, like all the other years, was spent feasting and sitting among the older folks, hearing them talk about totally irrelevant stuff that doesn't interest me at all. Well, at least i tried giving my 2 cents worth, but it availed little. The only thing i can't really figure out is my inability to maintain any reasonable conversations with my relatives.

A typical conversation goes like this:

Aunt: "Hello! Aiyo! So tall now! Can't recognize you at all!"

Dom: "Yeah haha okie"
(Really? So how the heck did you figure that it was me?)

Aunt: "So what are you doing now? Finished NS?"
(Strangely, everyone thinks i'm done with NS...........)

Dom: "Erm, i'm in NS now..."

Aunt: "Really? How many more years?"
(Dom coughs blood)

Dom: "No, 9 more months to ORD"

Aunt: "Then what do you plan to do after NS? Study?"

Dom: "Sadly yes."

Aunt: "Okie all the best!"

Dom: "Thanks"

Well, who can i blame? Just that it's almost the same thing every year. At least this year i tried to strike up a conversation with one of my closer cousins whom i used to hang out with when i was much younger. And suddenly i realised that they were not the high achievers i thought they were. They were nice people, and we could be good friends outside. Sadly due to time constraint, i didn't really complete the conversations.

Well, at least i tried.

The cousins on my mother's side was a little more tricky. They are people of high status - RJC grads, Universtiy of Nottingham blar blar with honours blar blar, lawyers, accountants blar blar. Bascially the rich, handsome, pretty, nearly famous people. And everytime they visit my place, i'll try to disengage any involvement with them by hiding in my Wolf's Lair (My Room). This year was alittle different as i tried to make an effort in engaging them in meaningful conversation, but somehow my efforts died somewhere between the "hi" and the drinks. Strange. As usual, i went back to my hiding place, commanding Germanic tribes in massive battles on my computer.

I'd just figured that i'm pretty uncomfortable in making first moves talking to people. Sometimes that includes church setting, when new people come in. Church is really getting very big, but i hardly know any of the new people. I can't seem to keep the conversation alive for more than 5 mins. This is not good, especially since my social life is non-existant other than in church. There were actually many wonderful opportunity to get to know people, but somehow i can't seem to find the words to get the engine started. It's got nothing to do with confidence; i can be a pretty good speaker in public. (Don't forget i used to admire Adolf Hitler a long time ago) But when it comes to personal or a social setting i prefer to stay quiet. Sometimes i wonder how my friends do it; words simply flow from their mouth in the right situations; witty and funny words etc.

So much for new years.

And i'm planning a Passover dinner for my cell, been doing some research these past few days, and i must admit i really enjoy preparing such things... Hope to get a confirmed go by the leaders soon.

http://www.scottstapp.com/video.html

This is Scott Stapp's latest hit single.

The overall feel of the setting is pretty cool, with all the neat lighting effect. And the lyrics is very meaningful.

Creed MTVs always entertain me, with the memorable scene of the girl weeping blood and Scott Stapp jumping off a cliff in One Last Breath, to the jamming in a flood in My Sacrifice, to the stop motion effects in Take me Higher.

At least he hasn't lost that magic touch.

THE GREAT DIVIDE
I have run to the ocean
Through the Horizon
Chased the sun
I've waited for the light to come,
And at times I would give up
You have
Wrapped your loving arms 'round me,
And with your love I'll overcome.
You have
Loved me when I was weak,
You have
Given unselfishly,
Kept me from Falling...Falling
Everywhere but my Knees!

You set me free!
To live my life
You became my reason to survive the great divide
You set me Free!

I've been on Heaven's doorstep,
With the Door open,
One foot inside
I've cried out...God give me answers!
Please hush child I'll tell you why
You have
Loved me when you were weak,
You kept
Giving unselfishly,
Kept you from
Falling...Falling
Everywhere but your Knees!

You set me free!
To live my life
You became my reason to survive the great divide
You set me free!

Oh...our love is beautiful
Oh...oo...oh...Isn't it beautiful?
Times have changed
But you remain
My everything
Our Love is Beautiful
Stood by my side
Helped me survive
My great Divide
Isn't this is beautiful.

You set me free!
To live my life
You became my reason to survive the great divide
You set me free!

Scott Stapp Solo

Scott Stapp of Creed fame just released a new album. Entitled The Great Divide, the feature MTV for the song The Great Divide was pretty cool. Apparently this album is his most spiritual up till day ever since he left Creed. Some said that the reason for the breaking up of Creed was that the band mates couldn't get along with Scott, or rather, his latest spiritual renewal which he aptly put in a recent song that "...i need the Son to raise my head" (Relearn Love - Songs inspired by The Passion of the Christ)

I'm really glad for this sudden turn of events in Scott's life. I'd always been a Creed fan, constantly jamming out their all time hits like "Take Me Higher", "One Last breath (My favorite)" and of coz how can we ever forget "My Sacrifice", which i jammed one day and my friend thought that i was playing a Christian song! Even though Creed has effectively broken up, with the main musicians forming a new band called Alter Bridge (they do have pretty neat stuff) and Scott Stapp going singles. His debut single Relearn Love wasn't that fantastic, but i guess it was acceptable, since it was his first song written out of Creed context.


Relearn Love
On a dark and lonely highway
I need the Son to raise my head
I come before you, I am naked...
The man I am now must be shed
I've weathered storms and I am broken
My beaten heart is in your hands
What I really need is shelter
And a chance to relearn love

(chorus)

Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again…
So I can relearn love

The comfort of your arms around me
Your tender hands caress my head
I lay beside you I'm not worthy
This jaded man's not who I am
I touched the flame and I've been burned
All I need's a second chance
Give me eyes of a child
And teach this man to relearn love

Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again…

To relearn love
Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again...

So I can relearn love

I was selfish, but you still love me
You gave the greatest gift of all
And it set me free

When time means nothing
And your world is standing still
Listen world he's calling
When you feel me drop and kneel

This song does have an uncanny ability to linger in your head. I guess that's a good thing, since i myself constantly needed to "relearn love" all the time. I'm hoping that one day i can achieve the ability to belt out rock anthems the way Scott does it.

And oh, it's the Chinese New Year once again! And due to our hardwork in camp for our Ops Assessment and ex. Diamond Shield, we get to have this coming wed off, and Valentine's Day off. Cool eh?

Of coz it's cool. We worked really hard to get it. And guess whats' the best thing, this is considered as a priviledge, not an entitlement.

This is indeed NS

National Slavery

And i spent the whole of today packing my room, clearing all the junk, and hunting down every single ant colony that decided to spread it's idea of Imperialism among my stuff. It was a war of extermination as i made sure that there were no alternate life form other than human beings. I had to dig out all my CDs to clean and arrange them nicely, and the process does bring back some good old, if more innocent, periods of my life. Eventually i spent the whole day packing, cleaning, car wash including polish. And now i'm super tired.

But my mom refuses to let me sleep, due to some old superstition that the later the kids sleep, the longer life the parents have.

interesting theory.

Fools.

I used to pride myself with what i know, with what i understand.

It has brought me to the point where i confuse faith with knowing alot. If i didn't know, there was something wrong. If i did, i was doing okie. Knowledge was now my spiritual marker. I equated spiritual depth with amount of knowledge.

Don't get me wrong; Knowing is important.

It becomes bad when you're proud and bear fasle security based on it.

But today God humbled me during the MAD prayer meet.

I do know alot. But so what? It has hindered me, making me a person that is puffed up with knowledge, yet absolutely zero in experiential understanding. As we prayed today, God's knocking on the door of my heart was undeniable.

It is undeniable.

And so with a deep sense of sorrow that i have not felt in a long time, i prayed a prayer i believe that flowed from the depths of my heart.

"...I have put my trust in my knowledge, and have forgotten the true meaning of knowledge. Father, i want to throw all these aside, throw away the tag that i'm knowledgeble in the eyes of the world. I'll rather be a fool in the eyes of the world for You and draw near to You. I'll rather give it all up to know You in the power of Your death, and Your Resurrection. I want to be a Fool for Your sake..."

Guess this prayer really lifted a huge burden from my heart. Now i want to know God. Yes. Know Him, not just knowing about Him. I don't want facts alone; i want to know truth - and live it out.

The MAD Cell prayer meet is a special time of the gathering of the saints to simply seek God in prayer and worship. The beauty of it all is that we come with no agenda but one - to seek the face of God and to pray for one another. The worship leader can be anyone who knows how to strum a few chords. And usually we come with no songs prepared. God gives us the songs to sing. As the Spirit of God leads us, we intercede and encourage one another. It's the kind of time when we find rest and strength to carry on.

Don't get me wrong; service is important, but i must say that this MAD prayer meet has nourished me the most since we bagun meeting up. I pray that as we carry on meeting up to meet God, He'll visit us often and have communion with us. And one day, perhaps one day, we'll witness the overwhelming presence of God fall on His people, just like the day of the dedication of the Temple of Solomon.

It will happen.

As long as we keep on coming to the Table of The Lord...

It's one of those irrelevant posting time of the week.

Let me see, I'd just survived Exercise Diamond Shield (which is NOT classified, mind you), and my guys were almost featured on the news, except that this excercise was more for the Engineers; no one would want to know what a medic does, they would rather be watching the SOF do their rappelling than watch Azizi and Ashari collect the casualty from the Triage Point. This biase-ness is appalling, but nevertheless expected...

For the past few days i've been having trouble sleeping, constantly waking up in the middle of the night, punching the air like i was fighting some unseen assailant. My heavy workload plus all the added stress of taking care of men, and my lack of sleep has seriously affected my mood and such. No, it's not that i'm experiencing any pyschological disturbance, i guess i've become more anti-social, shunning especially those who talk to much (making my displeasure and sarcastic nature known to them in the process) , prefering to be quiet and alone. This week i've played out the ruthless doctrine of getting the job done regardless of the methods used. It's really a complicated thing to completely explain it here. Let's just say that i've been playing with lots of politics to get things done, a nicer word would be to do things in a "mature way". I am a soldier of the field, i am not suitable for doing paperwork, this will forever haunt me.

And to add all these up, i've got this headache from all my lack of sleep...

Oh well.

Here's a song that's been playing in my mind this week. Reflect on it.

What if I stumble?
by DC Talk

Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

(chorus)
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you’ve carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I’m feeling

(repeat chorus)

What if I stumble?
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that
You’re up against a wall, it’s about to fall
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that (2x)

I hear you whispering my name
My love for you will never change

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God

Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

Nothing has Changed.

With all the recent talk about church, hypocrites and such, i realised a simple but powerful truth. That despite all these...

God remains the same.

He's still the same when He saw the world at it's cradle. He's still the same when He first created Adam. He was there when men fell, and the flood waters came. He was there at Abraham's test of Issac. He's still the same when He took David's hand and slay Goliath.

He's still the same when He hung there on the cross, bearing the sin and shame of the world.

Despite of all the flaws i see in humans, despite of all the hurts and disappointments inflicted upon me by friends, i know this powerful truth.

God's still the same.

Regardless of how people and circumstancs change all around me. Regardless of what people may comment or say. Regardless of what people think.

God has never changed.

In the midst of the storm, when life's waves toss you violently from side to side. When the ship is battered and torn...

...The Anchor holds.

And so i must press on. I cannot stop and sulk because i see the failure of others. I must not fall into that trap of removing the speck of dust from my brother's eye, yet not removing the plank out from my own eye in the first place.

Yes, we all are not perfect. But that's not an excuse for us not to excel and overcome. God wasn't crazy when He said "Be Holy, as I AM Holy..." And though i don't know how, but i am willing to learn how to move on.

God teach me. This life is worth living only when it is lived for You.

Soggy Boots.

Man i hate soggy boots. I hate it.

Ever since BMT ended, my trusted boots began to give way after all the wear and tear, and especially in MRF where MOPP 0 attire is the norm (imagine a normal admin attire - Black MRF t-shirt, black PT shorts, and boots with green socks pulled over to cover the top of the boots.) I begin to notice holes under the sole of my boots, and it became an irritating object especially back in the training platoon when i was always "volunteered" to the toilet squad. This problem was made worst one day when i discovered the holes got bigger, allowing an insanely huge amount of water to enter my boots, making my socks soggy.

That's really disgusting, you guys should try it.

The last straw was when i wore that same old "chiongsua"(literally meaning "charging on sand) boots out for my topo mission at Lower Mandai, when i had to navigate thru swamps and marshy ground, sinking into mud traps on 2 occasion which require others to pull me up. At the end of the day i decided i had enough - now my good old faithful rugged BMT boots will see only urban action back in camp. And i smartly wore my pair of parade boots to my fieldcamp, allowing my to run thru puddles of water without any fear of intrusion of water into my boots.

Why did i bring up this issue about soggy boots and socks?

I experienced it today again, at 39 SCE. Sigh. We had a deployment at 39 SCE and since we dealt with decontamation, which involves tonnes of water, i stupidly wore my good old "holy" (hole-ly) boots out for this deployment. And when i was packing up to leave the place, imagine my horror when i realised that i had to cross huge puddles of water to move from point to point! It kinda left me grouchy the rest of the day; thank goodness it was nearing book out time.

So the final solution to the soggy boots question?

I gotta get new boots.

Sometimes life's questions have simple answers. =)

And i realised that i've been alittle too absorbed in my work in camp. It's strange. I don't really miss anyone out in the civilian world other than my parents sometimes. I'm starting to feel that old familiar feeling of dettachment from the world that is outside. I don't really know what is happening out there among my friends, and it has come to the point of indifference. Yes, the only good thing i guess is that i still remember my cell, and i still remember them in prayer and encouragement. And i figure that other than cell, i have completely lost touch with many things.

Such is the bane of the world i once knew.

Hope brighter days are coming.

Blogskin? What's that?

Oh... Blogskin. I see. Nah i don't really need it. I've got friends who go thru all the hassles and tassles to create a nice blogskin, but i haven't really got the time to do that. And i can't really be bothered actually, ha. Well, firstly i don't really need it. My main aim for this website is to inform and to share a little of Dom's life in black and white. Though i do not deny that there's a little hint of propaganda, but what i write here mostly are true.

No, i don't really like bashing people online, or to say how good i am or how bad others are. There's alot of things a blog can do. Inform, educate, share experience etc. many will say that it's better to do it on the phone, or better still to meet up face to face. But isn't talking on the phone almost the same, without the direct interaction. And meeting up face to face is the best, but how often do we have the time to do simply that? Oh well, so here's technology's answer to it all - the Online tool of Mass Propagation. I just type what i want to type, and you read what you want to read. Maybe you'll get offended, maybe not; perhaps you'll learn a thing or too, or find something amusing or shocking about the author. It's really up to you - this is the interaction i guess that derives from the original intent of conversing on the phone.

Oh well. Nothing interesting to write here for the moment. Today's my day of rest. And indeed, i rested. =) 2 1/2 hours of napping away in the afternoon has indeed rejuvenated me in preparation for tomorrow's joint excercise with 39th Singapore Combat Engineers, and i spent quality time with God, something which i've not done in a long time.

And during my walk back from dinner with my dad, we talked about my universtiy route, and he said that it didn't matter to him what university subject i took. And i knew it was the time to strike with the burning question in my heart.

"How bout Theology?"

He said the same thing; it didn't really matter what i took.

Perhaps this answer may set before me a path of many things to come.

It's all up to the Big Guy now.

War.

Life is about war.

No wait, before the stones start flying, this war i'm talking about is not a physical war...

It has been let loose centuries ago, and now we must fight it. In this war, there are no neutraliy - you must join either side. This war is a war against an enemy defeated 2000 years ago on a hill called Golgotha. And even though defeated, he refuses to submit, and wants to bring more casualty along with him into his doom. He is fighting a guerilla war to inflict maximum damage before he goes down.

I have fought this war for 7 years ever since i came to realise that i was unknowingly fighting for the dark powers.

But once i was blind, now i see. Just like the show Matrix, when i was rescued by a man that once came from Nazareth, and now He is the commander of the Armies of the Light Side. He pulled the plug out of my delusion and inability to see truth. He released me from years of agony and brokenness, and gave me the "Pill Option" - The Blue Pill, to return to the life i once knew, to be blind, lame, and in need. Or the Red Pill, to follow Him and fight for Him, in return for life eternal, the filling up of my emptiness in my heart and a reason to live.

I took the Red Pill. And i have no regrets even till today. And i am willing to go all the way, even till death. My allegience that was once to me myself has now shifted to the Great Lion of Judah.

It's not an easy war; it is a real war with real casualties. I have seen many who fell by the wayside, and even so i have found a great company of Soldiers fighting along side with, covering my back while i cover theirs, to encourage and press on.

I fight because of what a man did. Willingly giving His life for my defence, i now give mine willingly back to Him. And i fight on, through hard times and good, trials and tribulations, baptisms of fire and blood.

And i still fight on.

Though the scars are many, my sword is still in my hands. My rifle is still held tightly, bayonet fixed awaiting for the next onslaught of the enemy.

I will not surrender; i will not yield.

Not a step backwards.

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

- Paul of Tarsus. Martyred 65 AD.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry; For Tomorrow We Die.

Yikes, time does really fly. In another 6 - 7 hours time i'll be booking into camp, lugging my heavy load of equipment all the way into the heart of Nee Soon. This ends my 10 days of off so generously given to us by our Encik Munir. And well, to be honest, this 10 days off didn't really help much in terms of resting or such. I think i'm too addicted to my games, and i haven't really sat down to think about anything else other than Roman Legion tactics for my Rome Total War...

Well, in a short span of 5 days i celebrated 2 very important events, Christmas and New Year. (For history fraks out there, Christmas was originally a pagan festival, the Solar Soltice, but it was changed into a Christian festival by the Byzantium Emperors to reflect the growing aceeptance of Christianity in the Roman Empire.) Spent time with friends and family alike during this festive season, but it was different this year. This year i did not stay over anyone's place for the festive seasons. Nope, i went home and slept on my comfy bed every night for the 10 days of off. I guess this has gotta do with age more or less - when you grow older, you tend to long for your own bed more than anything else. Home has become precious; it's comforting to come home and see your parents, talk to them, and say good morning the first thing in the morning.

I give thanks for such mercies.

Today i met up with 2 friends whom i haven't met in a long time. Met them up for lunch and coffee (My goodness, i spent 10 bucks on Thai food, and 6 bucks on coffee!) Usually i wouldn't dare to spurge on meaningless things, especially espensive food that would be processed into something green and smelly (make a guess what...). But alas, i did it all in the name of fellowship. Well, it was good to meet up with good old friends; friends whom i have served along side all the way back in Hope Of God back in 1998, and to reminisce about the good old, more innocent days.

And oh!!! How could i ever forget about yesterday's steamboat feast?! M.A.D. (my cell in church) had a impromptu gathering of the warriors at the Kremlin (Shaun's House), armed with 110 bucks worth of food and drinks, and 2 heavy tepenyaki hot plates, and not to forget the dozens of packed food from the church banquet we had earlier on in the day - all these food combined, we could literally feed an entire army. And we were NS guys, so we were an Army technically. =P The preparation was a nightmare, but we ventured into the uncertainty with guidance from Chef. Ivan, who attended a 3 month "cooking survival course" in Japan. Armed with cleavers, knives of all assortment, we (Jachin, Shaun, Ivan, and Me) began to terrorize all the meat we had - chopping, bashing, marinating, and took some pretty interesting photos along the way (which will be soon up when i got the time). And i learnt a very important truth - fellowship can be as simple as preparing food together, yet having so much fun and laughter at the same time. Life's pleasure's can be as simple as this. Once again we prove the unshakable belief that guys can cook, wonderfully if i might add. Sadly you won't really see much of the other gender doing such things, as we lamented in the kitchen.

And as we presented the many dishes of food to the table, the rest of the guys came, and began our feasting with a simple word of prayer. And ha, one interesting to mention, as Gerald Ho came, he announced to us that he was on a meat fast. Wait, what did he just say? A meat fast.

WHAT?!

We've got so much food, i doubt we could finish it all, and Gerald Ho's on a meat fast?! Oh well, though i must say that it was fun torturing him by cooking all the teriyaki and black pepper chicken infront of him. heehee. He had to resort to cooking fanciful dishes like fried mushroom, egg mushroom, omlette mushroom etc (notice the one common ingredient in all his dishes). What a hobbit! =) And of coz there was the usually suaning of James Judas Vinay Iscariot for his "traitorous" behaviour in joining another cell group (but amidst all the poking fun, he's really doing a good job in helping out with BREAD.) I promised him that one day i'll get him 30 silver chocolates. Heehee. Yeah, it was sure fun hanging out with the guys.

Sigh. It's over. The food and the fun.

Now it's back to camp. Back to the "tough and realistic training"

New Year.

Yep, in a twinkling of an eye, 2005 has drawn to an end. Now i stand at the threshold of a new year. Some say that the new year brings new promises of new beginnings. During Sat's End of Year Service, we were told to "be better" in the coming new year. I don't really like the phrase "be better". I dunno, guess maybe it's the way i see things.

I believe that yes, even though we must try our best in everything we do, but we can't "be better". No. My prayer this year rather is to "know Christ more in His Death, and experience the power of His Resurrection" in a even deeper manner. I don't want to become better, no, i want to become weaker, more dependent on a holy grace that was meant for us to hold onto in times of adversity. I don't want to do things better by myself. No, i want to experience that vulnerability that comes from trusting God in every circumstances, the very fact that if God does not act, we shall all perish. I've tried very hard being strong, but usually i end up with just a facade. I had enough of been a pharisee. I want to be real, to experince the life changing power of God i once knew, and see myself being moulded by the Master Potter. I don't want to have the form, yet denying it's power, the form to just show people that i'm still the "strong" Dom i once was.

Guess things have changed somewhat along the way. Bad things, good things. All i know is that i've lost alot of things along the way last year; i'd also gained things. I lost some, i gain some. So it ain't that bad actually. I've lost love, but i relearnt love, above all things. I understood grace when i was rejected and alone. I experienced what it meants to endure, and to fight on even when your strength has left you. Having undergone such experiences, I have become hardened, not in heart, but in facing the storms of life. That's what i want to thank God for. The process wasn't easy, neither was it without pain. On the contrary i suffered greatly, and silently. But like the pheonix, my pain was my rebirth.

And now i see clearly, things which was once clouded to me.

There's alot of things that i still need to change. This i don not deny. There's many things i got to leave behind too. This sword is still not sharp enough, at least not as sharp as it should be.

10 more months to ORD, what am i gonna do? Been having this weird tugging in my heart to take a course on ministry, perhaps Bible School, given the fact that i got about 7 months free before university starts. Of coz, i'm still keen on that trip to Israel! Really excited on going there. And i'm planning to buy back lots of cool stuff like a shofar, a menorah, and all the IDF stuff. =)

Okie, short post tho, but it's just a little of what i really want to say.