"Arbeit Macht Frei"

Arbeit Macht Frei. These 3 words have been proudly displayed on the notice board in the IPE store. As the 9th Platoon Logistic Spec, with the crappiest, most insane job to run an organization that spans from your individual load to the massive tentages, i feel alittle twisted humour is good for the soul. "Arbeit Macht Frei" - "Work Makes You Free" Slogan for the Nazi Concentration Camp Auschwitz. It literally means "only in death can you be free, so work till you die..." This statement somehow reflect alittle of the life i lead in camp. Work till you drop, and hope for the blessed sleep to cometh.

Greetings friends, i have returned from 9 gruelling days of ops standby for a certain exhibition that involves lots of planes and apache attack choppers, but nooo, i won't be telling you what. 9 days in camp, supposedly to be relaxing as originally planned; to believe in such nonsense would be nothing short of naive. Days were spent deep down in the dungeons of the stores, trying to find my way out of this messed up situation. And it doesn't really help much when most of the time sleep the favorite past time of many. I shall not complain anymore here, i'll just end it with this - what comes around, goes around. At the end of the day when you really need help, it can really tell who your friends are.

Team control is all about diplomacy and the art of resource management. Divide and Rule is my maxim - knowing who's good at what, and placing them there, is the key of a efficient working environment. Work load is halved, work time is shortened. And i had to learn this the hard way. Thank goodness i have a core of team members who are efficient and ready to help (at least i can see them trying to) These people are not smart people, they're very simple people, and all you need to do is this - to make them believe that there's something worth working towards, no matter how cliche or dumb is sounds. Men needs vision, without it we perish. We need to work towards a common goal, and as a team leader, i learnt that a leader must never be found poor with compliments. Even a simple "thanks for all the hard work" can mean the difference between increased productivity, and absolute failure. Small treats along the way is a good way of motivation, and i've been finding interesting sources of food. Biscuits and swiss rolls left behind by the previous Combat Medic Course trainees in their now defunct bunks, which i turn to my advantage by suppling their growling stomach. Haha, sounds like a zoo eh? It it actually. And i believe the most important leson i learnt is how to teach people about life lessons thru their mistakes. Let someone make a mistake, advise him, and if he continues in the path of the destructive, let him go head on, and when he falls, let him learn a lesson. And it is in such situation, you show you powerful influence as a team leader by stepping in to help, even though it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's something deep, i guess it's called mercy.

Mercy, no matter how many mistakes you make, you're given a second chance. In the words of Switchfoot - Forgiveness is right where you fell.

Along with all these life lessons, i've several interesting encounters. I met the new PC for MRF, and he's kinda nice guy. It wasn't difficult talking to him, perhaps because he's new and uncorrupted by the officer/spec divide? And i finally had the chance to move in to my new two man bunk, with HQ Team Leader Zul as my bunk mate. Shifting bunks was a nightmare, though i'm glad that i've got a good bunk mate. He's the sort that lives by discipline, and unlike previous bunkmates, i don't have to go thru all the trouble of waking him up, and he even volunteers to do area cleaning when i'm busy with my logistics. I guess it's all about tolerance, and how to serve one another instead of trying to benefit oneself. The position of my furnitures are in such a way that my table faces the window; into the beautiful horizon. It gives you a very surreal feeling, as i sat there facing the window, into the face of the setting sun... My desk is a sacred place, i can't live without a table, my own personal working space, i can't seem to understand how the other guys can live without a table; i simply can't. And as usual, it's stacked up with tonnes of paperwork, and being a messy person by nature, standby areas are always a headache for me.

After all these hardwork, i finally get to enjoy a brief moment of respite with two days off. I'm gonna just laze around as much as i can, taking walks and visiting places that i've haven't visited in a long time. The only problem i have now is a horrible flu that i caught after my first night in the two man bunk....

That's the life of a log spec. Work makes you free.

Or does it?

Love is in the air..... Gas gas gas!

"Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer."
2 Tim 2:3-4

Okie the title's pretty lame. But since it's Valentine's and since my friend popped me a question very recently about my love life, i felt that i had to type something here about it. Honest sharings that i hope may encourage others...

It all began when a friend of mine asked me regarding a rather interesting event where God seemed to be leading me in the area of my love-life. It was kinda funny, but at the end of the day i felt really weird. Firstly, even though (yes it's true) that i still hope for a relationship, no matter how impossible it may seem, i realised that the most dangerous thing in this aspect is to play God. Everything has it's divine order, and seldom do we have the patience to wait and see sometimes. I learnt this lesson the hard way, knowing that if we try to be funny and rush head first into such a sortie, we only get ourselves burnt beyond recognition. It's true - it's hard to play by the rules, it's hard to play by God's timeline, but unless and until we do it, we're just risking ourslevs in uncharted territory. We may get what we want, but often enough what we want is not the best that we can have.

And so in reply to my friend's "how's your love life" question, i replied...

"That's a civilian event for now, and i'm not supposed to get invloved with it." Quoting 2 Tim 2:3-4

Friend: "How can your love life be a civilian affair to be neglected?"

Dom: "I consider it nothing man, at least not yet. Now's the time to please my Commanding officer (Jesus)"

And at the very moment i was quite surprised myself for saying that? It seems God's dealing with this issue has finally brought forth some fruits, and now i can safely say that i don't struggle with this issue anymore.

Haha the joys of singlehood comes in many forms, firstly i relaized that i'm richer than most of my platoon mates who are attached. My bank account in constantly in abundance. Secondly, i thank God the most for my freedom of time. I can do whatever i want with my time, with no relationship commitments at all. Thirdly, i don't really think i'm ready for one. Don't get me wrong, as i mentioned before, i really hope that one day i'll settle down with a nice wife, have kids running around the house, a nice cosy roof over our head etc. But duty calls for greater endeavours, while i'm still in the prime of my youth. It's a choice, in the Bible, when Israel went out to war against her enemies, they were told by the priest that if anyone has been pledged to a woman and not marrried her, He ought to be let home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her. Even though it's a metaphor to speak now in modern terms, i still want to march out with the army to fight - there are still many Hitties, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizites, Hivites, and Jebusites to be put to the sword. If you get what i mean, if not, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to see the vastness of the battle before each and every one of us.

And yeah, i believe what most guys struggle with in terms of singlehood is the yearning for companionship, someone to assure the very importance of his existence, that he is still needed and wanted. Now, as much as i've thought about it, i feel we're missing out on someone great here. I've seen my fair share of broken relationships, and i've come to understand that no one's perfect. There's is only one person that can be the greatets lover of all - God. "Cliche man!" some may say. But until and unless you've tasted and see that the Lord is good, you wouldn't know a single bit of that feeling, that His love is beyond compare. Only and until then can we truly function in a human relationship. A relationship without God will amount to much problems, especially for our generation where fidelity is not so much of a concern for many.

And so on this very Valentine's day (which origins are Christian, until the abuse of men...), let us remember what the greatest lover in history said "Love one another, and by this all men shall know you are my disciples.". Let us remember not the rose or chocolate, but the blood stained cross that bids us to come and experience the greatest love we could ever experience.

I'll be alone at home while many feast and feel that fuzzy feeling in them burn and rage.

I'll definately be alone...

... but never lonely. =)

Jarhead.

Oooh i really do feel alittle giddy from an overdose of popcorn.

I'd just returned from a friday nite shabbat movie outing, the time when i truly get to relax and let everything off my shoulder. Watched the new show "Jarhead", which is basically about this guy named Anthony Swoffer, a 20 year old who signed on with the United States Marine Corp. The show began from his first day in the USMC and into the high point of the Gulf War back in 1991.

The show barely had any fighting, and you don't even get to see much Iraqi soldiers; only dead ones. And my warning to all - the show does contain certain scenes that may be alittle offensive, it's the kind of scenes where you really should close your eyes. But the beauty of the show was in it's surreal feeling, it's intensity.

There were many scenes that i loved.

Firstly, Swoffer, who happened to be a Scout Sniper, had a buddy paired up with him as an observer. In the early part of the war Swoffer discovered that his partner (Troy) was to be discharged out of the Corps becoz he had not revealed his earlier criminal convictions. You could literally feel the hopelessness Troy felt as he dug his foxhole. And the amazing thing was how the entire section bonded with him; no it was talking or comforting, but it was a big stackup and a branding of the words "USMC" upon his leg by fire. Sure it hurt, but it was their way of saying that Troy was accepted into the USMC family while no one wanted him at all in the outside world. And when Swoffer was hugging him after the whole ordeal, you could see the tears well up in Troy's eyes. And the narrator con't this statement which really touched me....

"Yeah, inside was a circus, we were all insane in the circus. But in this circus we cannot be touched...."

Secondly, the next scene that made me thought about stuf was when Swoffer and Troy were sent out to assasinate a senior Iraqi General that was still holding up in a certain airstripe with 750 Republican Guards. Till then, they have not fired a single shot, nor did they kill a single enemy. And they were about to make their first kill. They found the target, he was in their scope, everything was planned and preapred, and Swoffer was about to take that first shot when suddenly one of his commander barged him and told him to hold fire - the commander was about to call in a massive air strike. Swoffer and Troy begged the commdr that they had to take the shot, and it was only one shot, so it didn't matter. Why not let them kill that Iraqi General? The commdr insisted that they could not, and this was when Troy went berserk, snatching the fieldphone away from the commdr, and going into a rage.

"Why can't you lt us take that shot? Why can't you let us kill him?! Why do you have to come and ruin everything?!"

And Troy broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Strange feeling. But it touched me. Troy wanted to do something worthwhile before he gets discharged. He had trained very hard since day 1 to kill, and now when he was about to take another person's life, he couldn't. What he had always wanted to do, he couldn't do it, even when the enemy was already in the scope. It seems that only killing could define his purpose of existence.

Third scene was the part when Swoffer's section was trekking thru the Kuwaiti desert, and they encountered the burning wells, all part of Iraq's Scorched Earth Policy. And as Swoffer sat there in his foxhole, watching upclose as the Kuwaiti wells burnt, heir fiery flames reaching to the heavens, (it was really a surreal scene) Swoffer's Staff Sergeant sat with him, and they started talking.

(Not the exact words, but it's with the best of efforts as i try to recall.)

"You know, my brother owns a shop, and if i was back home, i would be helping out in the shop. I would be seeing my wife every night, i would be kissing my kids goodnight, sending them off to school in the morning. But do you know why i'm here and not back home? Cause i love my job."

A mad man many would suppose, who in the world would love the military? =) Now you understand how i feel. I loved my BMT life, i love the feeling of carrrying a rifle and charging the enemy. I love all things military. And i really understand how that staff sergeant must have felt. It's really a blessing to do what you really love to do, sadly i had been denied that pleasure.

Lastly, there was the scene when the soldiers were returning home from the front, and this man in tattered clothings boarded the bus shouting "Good job guys! Semper fi! You guys did a great job!" Apparently he served in Vietnam as a Marine too, and you could see the longing for the good old days in his eyes. Then suddenly he became very tired, and asked whether he could sit down. There were tears in his eyes as he continue to utter "Semper fi" in a softer, gentler tone. This part the narrator said something very cool...

"All wars are different. All wars are the same."

When you join the army, when you first hold your rifle, you'll never forget that feeling. You can go about many things, do many things with your hands. But it will never ever forget the rifle.

So much for tonite, it's really late.

Treachery.

Traitors deserve to be shot.

I remember the quote taken from General Barnaky from Fallout Tactics:

"The scars of betrayal runs deep still."

And I've been through enough to know what it feels like being betrayed. No, not on a national level, but in day to day affairs. Traitors from every walk of life, from every corner. traitors who tell you one thing, and yet do another that causes you immense suffering.

I know, i'm childish to say it out here. But nevertheless it, whats that word? It... I'm simply disgusted.

There is no honour at all in such things.

With such, they should be treated with no honour at all.

I will not talk about what happened here. But I can teach a lesson here, that when one is betrayed, the trust lost is unredeemable. Traitors can be forgiven, but not trusted anymore again.

But......

I remember Peter, on the night of betraying Christ..... Not only was he forgiven, he was restored.

The trust was restored.

But i simply can't, at least not yet. I'm still human.

God, help me.

Political Ramblings Part 1.

Heard recently about the news that HAMAS had won major elections in the West Bank last week as the Palestinians held a general election. Been giving some thoughts to it. (I can't help it, i'm really into this Middle East politics...)

Interesting. A terrorist organization responsible till date for almost all major bombings in Israel has just taken control of a mainly political situation in the West Bank, pushing aside the Palestinian Authority and the widely popular FATAH movement with such ease.

Now, it is because of them that the situation in the Middle East becomes tricky. It's because of them that the Israelis send in their tanks, soldiers, and mighty armoured Bulldozer that is 2 story high to demolish Palestinian buildings. So how in the world did they win? It just doesn't make sense.

Does it?

It does, to the disbelief and misunderstanding of most common people.

The cycle of violence will not end; instead, it had just turned political.

And the political war is often deadlier than the normal conventional war.

Oh well, but who am i to know all this?

I'm just a humble 3SG serving in the SAF with no proper qualification whatsoever to express any significant opinion on the Mid-East Crisis.

And i'll leave more space in other entries next time coz i really need to go now.

Of Settlers and Gu-Zhens....

It suddenly dawned upon me while i was just thinking about this game called Catan. It's a game where players aim to attain points by building settlements and roads to collect vital resources. The person who first reaches 10 points win the game.

Catan is a pretty neat game that promises a completely new scenario in each game. Thus no two games are the same. And the best thing is that it's simple and easy to learn, and it can get quite addictive.

Why am i talking about it now? Cause i was only reading an article on the political situation of Israel, and i figured that the maker of Catan could be Ariel Sharon, since he was the main pusher for Israel to build as many settlements as she can back in the 80s. So here you have it, Catan is the favorite game of all right-wing Israeli politicians. Build more settlements; claim more land. And if the other side doesn't agree to what you are doing, there's always the soldier card that you can use on him.

Now back to the stuff of my ordinary everyday existence. This new year was a very good break from the hassles of army life. Not that army life sucks, but it can take a toll on you unknowingly. For example, i'd just had a cell dinner to send Brandon off top India. Turkish dinner wasn't that fantastic, but it was a good try since, well, it was turkish. Then coffee shop was our next destination. As usual, when you got a big crowd with almost half of them under 21, you get chaos. There wasn't a single direction that we were heading to, so i kinda lost of cool, and i wasn't afraid to express my not-quite-happy feelings. And the feeling that dawned upon me was a familiar one, the kind that i would feel back in camp. I am a man that demands effeciency, i see it as an double edged sword - on one hand i'm very particular sometimes about things being done properly (i guess i'm perfect for a bureaucrat. Perhaps i should go into politics.) and quickly. I abide by the maxim "finished it now, then you can slack later". On the other hand, i am extremely irritable, with little or no patience at all. Perhaps this is the reason why i was elected Team Leader by my sarge. And so i realised i'm not very popular with alot of people due to the fact that sometimes i take things too seriously, and yet i always feel that i need to be more serious sometimes! Such oxymoron! Perhaps i need to tone down and relax from time to time, and be serious only when the need arises.

Yesterday we had a small cell gathering at my place before we headed out for lunch and then down to Jachin's house. Interestingly Jachin's place is a nice relaxing getaway from city and HDB life. Perhaps it's the simple change of environment. We basically slacked, talked, played guitar, and "taopok" (A term used to describe a stackup on a some unfortunate soul) anthony, with Jachin's little bro Jamin as the main instigator. Then we had a sumptous dinner prepared by Auntie Florence, a meal of popiah (traditional Chinese meal) , fantastic curry and delicious soup. And we got to know some ladies from China who were students here (Jachin's mom heads the Chinese ministry in my church) and one of them brought down her Gu-Zhen, a stringed instrument that dates back a long long time ago in ancient China. We bared our weapons of mass-worship, guitar, bass, keyboard, and we infused ancient Chinese music with modern day worship tunes. Then we each presented a song, the guys plus Sophia played and harmonized Heart of Worship while she in turn played us a old Chinese tune.

There's only one word to describe the music - beautiful.

After they left, the guys stayed back to jam, and unknowingly and unplanned, we went into a time of free worship. It was a refreshing time where we belt out old classics like I Could Sing of Your Love Forever and My Heart Burns For You. Then there was free worship and new songs from the heart. I pray as Jachin did that we will encounter and experience more such events, where we can enter the presence of God so freely.

And now thursday dawns upon me. back to camp once again.

Same old thing again.

lalala.