War Stories

A young boy, age 10, sits wide eyed and attentive as 3SG (NS) Dominic recounts his 'war stories'. A barrage of questions on how to fire a M16S1, how a GPMG functioned, and how to launch an anti-tank weapon punctuates the conversation. Following tales of wild boars, how I charged an 'enemy' bunker, and the life in the jungle made him jump up and down, pulling my hand as his curious nature takes him to another level of interest. It was time to go, and he wanted to hear more. He was promised more in-camp stories from the poor old soldier the next time he 'airdrops' over his school.

This was one of the events that really moved me today at work. I never thought I could one day use my experience in National Service to enchant these lives that had been ravaged by the harsh realities of life. This little boy is one of the worst cases I've come across, and though he doesn't say it, he is in need of a father's love and attention. They are in need of a role model, someone who is willing to look beyond their faults. Sometimes a short and simple conversation and a wrestle time can really do wonders to help them find some meaning in this miserable life.

God is really at work, and it is a blessing to see it first hand on the battlefield. For a man who regards a lack of patience as one of his weak points, God has held me through these past 3 weeks. Everyday I am depending on his grace, coz to not trust in Him I will lose my sanity. This journey is simply amazing.

Woohoo!

Journey

When God beckons a man to a journey, sometimes the destination may not seem clear. Sometimes what may frustrate a person most is how God reveals the direction in one little step at a time. People do get lost along the way, it does happen, and when the "beautiful" surroundings seduces the heart and draws us away from the long and seemingly harsh journey, and when we realize it, we mourn the loss of innocence as we crawl back to our original path.


These few months had been a trying period for me, both in my faith and the direction where God wants me to go. It took a journey of a friend of mine that led to me questioning the way I lived my life. Her journey coincided with me asking God about what 2008 would hold for me, another year condemned to a mundane 9-6 job and endless hours of study, or will it be a year where God leads me on an adventure to understand what is most important in His Kingdom. The day I received the phone call from the community service centre, I knew God was answering that small desire in me for something meaningful this year. From a comfortable 9 - 6 job with pretty good welfare, I find myself a youth worker, helming a class of 40 screaming kids, giving terror a new definition.

These are no ordinary kids - latch keys, broken families, parents who don't care, dysfunctional families, the list goes on, evidence of how broken a child can be without a family, where fathers walk out on their families, and mothers who simply don't care. As I sat there at the school canteen pondering about all these, staring into blank air with a cup of horrible-tasting-primary-school coffee, I felt a sudden sense of gratitude for all that God has given me, and a sudden sense of mission. Now it was my time to give back, no matter how small my gift may seem. This sudden revelation had a powerful impact on me, for soon I found myself asking the question "Gosh did I do the wrong thing by quitting my job for this?".

No. Though I felt a sense of frustration of not getting across the kids, I also felt a sense of peace. The sort that tells me that the going is and will be tough, for no journey with God is ever simple and problem-free. God spoke to me this too - if not you, then who else? It was the journey that broke the heart that sprang the well of passion, not the other way round. Somehow, I pray, that in this journey of 'unknowns' and 'don't knows', God will allow me in for a glimpse of His compassion.

We have all grown so comfortable sitting in church and serving in our ministry till we forget what the ministry is for. Don't get me wrong on this, serving in church etc is an important first step, but I'm starting to see that a ministry must always lead us back to where God's heart is - people, especially those who have nothing. (I sound like Bono now.) When we take pride in our own ministry, it becomes like a career, something that we're good at and all. Isn't it strange when we're so capable at doing things, we push God out of the picture, just like what happened in the book "You are Important" by Max Lucado.

Search our hearts and examine our ways O God, the psalmist says.

We all want adventures of faith, we all want to do great things for God, preach to the masses, perform signs and wonders etc. Good stuff. Somehow we just need to learn how to start with the basics first I guess. Sometimes the mission field could just be across the street, where people are in need of friends. Maybe all it takes is a warm smile and a cold cup of water for the little ones, or some 'wrestling' with the boys who had never experienced a father's love before.

Sometimes all it takes is a prayer from a surrendered heart.

God does answer prayers.

Team Hoyt.

A power video about a father's love. This is one of those videos that brings you back into perspective about what love really is.

Obsession

What can I do with my obsession?
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being?
Is it wind that blows the trees?
Sometimes you're further than the moon
Sometimes you're closer than my skin
And you surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for you
And my heart burns

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn God and I'm longing
to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
I feel lonely without hope
I feel desperate without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

And my heart burns for you
And my heart burns for you

- Delirious

U2 Praise and Worship. National Prayer Breakfast Feb 2 2006.

This is a powerful clip by U2. Check it out.

Yahweh.

Coffee Table Sessions

"I guess I don't really have problems with choosing between church friends and outside friends because I don't have much friends to begin with."

This statement made by a dear brother of mine stuck with me.

I guess we're all tired trying to play the game, all so tired in trying to fit in.

Same war, same battle, same casualties.

Same outcome no matter how hard we try, it is inevitable.

We can't change who we are, no matter how hard we try.

We're all freaks in a mad circus.

Yet in this circus, we cannot be touched.

To those at the coffee table at Yakun today, you'll always have a brother in me, no matter where you are.

"Fear God and do what is right."

V. Putin

"Those who don't want the Soviet Union back have no heart, while those who want the Soviet Union back have no head." - Vladimir Putin

Mask

A mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing                 
Pity comes too late                 
Turn around and face your fate                
An eternity of this before your eyes                 
This haunted face holds no horror for me now
It's in your soul that the true distortion lies.