13.

Feeling sort of lost now as my ORD date approaches. Unlike most conventional Singapore males, I'm not really excited about my ORD date. It's 13 days from now, and I must say I've been suffering from Army withdrawal.

Sounds weird huh?

Army has been good to me, no complaints about that. Learnt lots of cool stuff from there, especially in relating to others. It had also greatly booasted my confidence, and shaped a kind of toughness that only barrack-life can shape.

I'm starting to miss alot of stuff from camp, and I'm kinda apprehensive, bordering on fear.

How can I become a civilian all over again?

Many would say "Hey It's the easiest thing on earth." Not to me.

Old soldiers never die; they simply fade away.

And not to forget, newly added on Dom's worry list is an evershrinking bank account. With the ceasing of my army allowance, I really gotta be careful with the way I spend my moolah. It's a total revamp; an entirely new way of living - no more snacks, no more S$1 soft drinks. No more expensive once-in-a-blue-moon dinner. In fact, now I hardly eat dinner outside. What aches me the most are books. Today I went to Popular at Bras Basah with Sam Tan, and I chanced upon a book by Martin Van Creld (a very celebrated military historian) entitled "The Art of War: Exploring the Concepts and Politics of War".

I droooooled.

And as my hand subconsiously made it's way to the book, I realised that I would have to pay a hefty $23 for it. It's quite cheap by Kino's standard, but $23 is really a huge amount of money for a poor peasant like me. So I bite my teeth and walked away, feeling the cold needles piercing my heart.

Sigh.

But I know deep down, despite the feeling of loss, I must be a good steward of my money. Where your heart is, there your receipts will lie. I've been spending far too much of history stuff, and I know that even though I do like history, there are other far more important things where I can throw my cash in.

And it's true; when you're out of army, the transition period is an entire new season in a man's life. You suddenly feel the weight of the world falling on your shoulders, the responsibilties of family, work, and sometimes even ministry.

You're forced to grow up - you got no choice.

I'm not exactly taking this transition period well. But I'm trying, and trusting God.

13 more days.