Politically Wrong
Life has resumed for the part time student with a day job.
It was hard trying to balance work, education, life group leading and worship ministry. Some would say that I lack faith. But the burden was too much to bear.
Now I thank God that with my Saturdays free, I can concentrate more on my other aspects of life like my family whom I hardly see given my hectic work/study/ministry schedule. I also have more time to catch up with my studies, coz I'm not a genius, I have to work hard to even barely survive maintaining a reasonable GPA. I also have more time for my social life, which is sadly lacking.
I'm starting to realize how much I've neglected my 'outside' friends - my old MRF pals, my classmates and my colleagues. Ironically it was my army friends and colleagues who remembered my birthday last year instead of those who were close to me - perhaps familiarity really does breed contempt. I've grown so warm and cozy in church that I forget that there's a real world out there that needs to be influenced. Though I am no great man of faith, I try at least to do my part to live differently, which is the hard part.
Everyone loves a hero, I guess that's the saddest part. Maybe that's why we wear masks, like the ancient Greek actors bearing the images of Herakles or Achilles. Some say that we wear masks everyday - its a catch-22. Either we wear masks or we be branded as faithless/deviant etc. Either ways we are all dead. The whole game here is to strip off these masks as we grow. So will have no problems with getting rid of them quickly; yet for some it takes a longer time.
So the cardinal question here really is this:
Would you still love and accept me if you really knew who I am?
Sometimes I feel the last thing I need is for some saint to tell me how wrong I've become and what I must do to make things right, like Job's 3 friends. Sometimes I feel all I really need is a sinner to share my grief with me, to mourn and to encourage me.
It sounds politically wrong.
Sometimes we do take a tumble, and our walk becomes a crawl.
And I'm not exactly doing very well now.
But would you still love and accept me?
It was hard trying to balance work, education, life group leading and worship ministry. Some would say that I lack faith. But the burden was too much to bear.
Now I thank God that with my Saturdays free, I can concentrate more on my other aspects of life like my family whom I hardly see given my hectic work/study/ministry schedule. I also have more time to catch up with my studies, coz I'm not a genius, I have to work hard to even barely survive maintaining a reasonable GPA. I also have more time for my social life, which is sadly lacking.
I'm starting to realize how much I've neglected my 'outside' friends - my old MRF pals, my classmates and my colleagues. Ironically it was my army friends and colleagues who remembered my birthday last year instead of those who were close to me - perhaps familiarity really does breed contempt. I've grown so warm and cozy in church that I forget that there's a real world out there that needs to be influenced. Though I am no great man of faith, I try at least to do my part to live differently, which is the hard part.
Everyone loves a hero, I guess that's the saddest part. Maybe that's why we wear masks, like the ancient Greek actors bearing the images of Herakles or Achilles. Some say that we wear masks everyday - its a catch-22. Either we wear masks or we be branded as faithless/deviant etc. Either ways we are all dead. The whole game here is to strip off these masks as we grow. So will have no problems with getting rid of them quickly; yet for some it takes a longer time.
So the cardinal question here really is this:
Would you still love and accept me if you really knew who I am?
Sometimes I feel the last thing I need is for some saint to tell me how wrong I've become and what I must do to make things right, like Job's 3 friends. Sometimes I feel all I really need is a sinner to share my grief with me, to mourn and to encourage me.
It sounds politically wrong.
Sometimes we do take a tumble, and our walk becomes a crawl.
And I'm not exactly doing very well now.
But would you still love and accept me?
posted by DoMiniC at 1/30/2008 10:45:00 PM
4 Comments:
hey friend,
your honesty is really really valued.:) thank you for sharing. don't lost heart amidst the struggle brother! press on!
there is no point in putting on masks... just be yourself.
If we are sad... there is no use faking happiness, if something is wrong... there is no use pretending everything is alright...
1 thing i have learnt is that God does not fault people for honesty... just read the book job
btw... the saint and the sinner thing sounds like something from my blog... oei.... i collect royalties one you know.... hahaha
Dear Dom, i do for all your fuhrer goose-stepping ways.
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