I am done with my exams, so I'm here.

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage. " Eph 5:24-26 (The Msg)

Kinda found The Message translation more meaningful, though there may be a danger of getting lost in translation. Anyway, I'm not married yet so don't call me to ask for invites (Anyway our wedding invites are limited, so sorry if you didn't receive any, maybe you're just not important enough haha)

Matt shared this during cell group last Saturday, and we had sort of a battle of the sexes. It was fun, trying to find out what each gender wanted to have more/less to become a better support for the opposite gender in the cell, and gaining insights which survived the mere 3 hours plus to become a conversation topic between Sophia and I over the next few days.

Haha actually I was more interested in finding out how Matt aka 'Scorpion King' would tackle the sermon topic, which was so filled with irony - SP of Church of our Saviour, preaching a sermon entitled 'Honouring Women' in a Brethren church. (For those of you who are unable to comprehend the irony in this, where have you been all the while when women raged against one another in the whole AWARE fiasco?) Anyway, his sermon was average, I know, the fundamentalists would have hung me up and played pinata for saying such a thing, but I guess I had enough of self-style fire-and-brimstone preachers who interpret the Scriptures with an extremely narrow world view.

Anyway, as mentioned in the above passage, the women got the better end of the deal haha. Like what Matt said, anyone can respect and submit, but how can someone love his wife like Christ loves the church? The passage basically and quite literally means that a man must be prepared to lay down his love for his wife.

Whao.

I know a man should be the one that protects his wife (or girlfriend for my case), and I'd heard of husbands donating their livers to save their wives. But in this case, it comes as a sort of biblical understanding that's pretty hard to refute. So it's really true -- to love someone, you must be prepared to die.

Talk is easy lah. I know. Anyone can talk, anyone can respond to the altar with buckets of tears, but action... action dude. That's the hard part.

You not only need to physically die if demanded of you, but a husband must also 'die' in many other forms. Death to pride, death to selfish and self-centred living, death to the 'male-ego' that had spun much of society's problems, and be ready to take up arms. Not easy. But not necessarily a bad thing.

I had my fair share of massacres, but they tend to be pretty positive results. I guess I'd learn to be more sensitive, more caring, and more forgiving. Of course I had to kick my buckets of pride away, but hey, ain't we all supposed to get rid of all these in the first place? =) I'm just amazed at how love can change a person, and even after one year, I'm still pretty much smitten by it. Iron sharpens iron, and that it is better to have a companion on the road than being alone, as the wise man of the Tanakh says, and you have done much to make me a better man.

So hi Ruth, you're right, I've become more gentle and less of a warmonger in recent months. Maybe I'm just tired, experiencing wounds in places that should have been a haven. (Btw congrats, you know what I mean. =>)

And I, for the very least of my miserable desert wandering days, have found a place where I can be fed the proper word of God, a place where the pulpit is never used for ridicule, a place where I don't get labeled 'bandit, thief and robber'. And I'm glad to have a functioning cell group made up of ridiculously nice people who are as broken as I am, yet bearing so much hope for the future. For once, I actually feel community again, and yes though the fitting in process can be quite hard and even painful, I'm just glad I can enjoy the fellowship of believers who don't really give a damn who you are or what you've done. The best part is, I feel no pressure to conform or to abide by any rule in order to fit in. We don't have any massive anointed worship that can rain heaven down, just simple songs from a simple heart, and I'm starting to find back the simple meaning of worship.

I really, really, honestly, touch my heart, no kiddingly say that I have absolutely no idea of what the future holds. I really don't know what God wants with me, and I have no idea where He is gonna bring me. I won't pretend that I know all the answers.

I'm just grateful for everything that I have now. =)